Stand clear religious types

Yesterday I went out and bought me a bible.
Now, you might be saying to your self, “So what?”
We’ll you see, I’m a devoted atheist.
I’ve been an atheist just about all my life.
I used to be an agnostic when I was younger, but fell off the fence about 10 years ago.
In all that time I’ve never read the bible.
I’ve read portions at time, but never the whole kit-and-caboodle.
So I thought I would give it a try.
After I’m done with the bible, I might also read the Koran and the Mormon bible, although I’m not too sure about the last one.
Of all the religions in the world Mormon is by far (to me) the stupidest.
Mormonism is the snobbish American religion.
But that is a future post.
Stand back and be ready to be offended as I read through and post my comments.
Hopefully, the Shaw of Iran won’t put a hit out on me.

#I forgot to mention the reason for my sudden interest. They had a speicl on the Discovery Channel the other day about the stories banned from the bible. So I'll be reading them in conjunction with the standard version.
Not sure if it makes a difference, but I'm reading the ESV Standard English version.